final days of an intense semester

Well, it has been an intense semester. It has been, by far, the most trying since I began nursing school. As I talk about this with people lately, I can also say wholeheartedly that it has been my favorite so far as well. While my schedule has been full to the brim with studying, classes, clinical times, and doing my best to stay sane and healthy amidst it all… I have really enjoyed the experiences. I have had such rich, full, challenging, infuriating, heartbreaking, growth inducing times in the hospital and within relationships cultivated at school. The three clincals: Psych, Pediatrics, and Adult were completely different worlds… Psych consisted of getting to spend a lot of time “therapeutically communicating” to patients in Parkland and Zale Lipshy hospitals. The schizophrenic patients were the most entertaining and fun to talk with. The clinically depressed and bipolar patients were the most challenging, but most rewarding to try to build rapport with…     Working with kids was really fun and heartbreaking at the same time. There’s just something that seems especially wrong about a young child being in a very ill state. Whereas with adults it is, at times more cognizantly (sp?) acceptable for us to be in a compromised state… I mean, it just happens sometimes. We age, our bodies being to deteriorate, and we eventually die. Ya know? I could write a lot more about this and other things in this regard.

It is wonderful to live in Denton and have Laura close by. Coming home and being able to ride my bike or drive pretty much anywhere I need to go within 5 minutes or so is priceless. Also, the community here is very rich and becomes more so with each passing week. As I become more a part of my church and get to know the people in my life better, I am continually blessed by them and their lives.

Being in a home group and building relationships with people older than me that have been “around the bend” a few more times is awesome on multiple levels. It is challenging, frustrating, wisdom-giving… I cherish having someone older to go to and spend time with very much- someone who will criticize me where I need it and challenge me with scripture. It is gold. And for this, again, I am very very thankful.

As usual, I am procrastinating while I write this. Need to be studying… Almost finished! Final on Saturday, Monday and Tuesday then freeeeeeedom!

Sunset view out the window I am sitting by (in the Hydrant Coffee Shop):

 

new post post post new post!

New post!

Right now, I am sitting on the 3rd floor in the TWU (denton campus) library. I really enjoy studying here. It’s really big and nice and quiet… AND I don’t have to feel guilty about not buying a coffee (as opposed to when I decide to study at banter or the hydrant or somethin’).

The third semester of nursing school has been busy to an incredible degree. Overall I am enjoying it though. I cannot believe that I am basically half-way through with it. Feels like it just started. Crazy how quickly time flies when the days are full.

I love living in Denton again. I don’t miss Dallas a bit- I mean, I have to be there nearly everyday for school anyway so…what’s to miss? I do, however, miss my old roommates and our german shepherd, Diego. I am hoping that one day I will be able to have one of his puppies. (He is the good looking  pup in the below picture-click on them to make them bigger)

Also, there is a picture of some of my old roommates and I playing poker on one of our “man nights” in July. Man nights usually consisted of delicious brats, beer, poker, lots of laughing, loudly expelling gas from various bodily orifices, etc…

The other pictures are of Laura and I. The black/white one is from last September when we went down to Austin for ACL and the color one is more recently at her parents’ house- one night that we were practicing music to play in church the next day.

Speaking of…yesterday, church was awesome. Matt talked about Gospel community and all it involves as well as things that serve to kill it. You can download all the sermons for free from the website. I highly recommend it. I was reflecting though the other day on how amazingly graced my life is. In this community, church, work, friends, special friend( Laura : ) ), school… I am insanely and immensely blessed! He has given me strength to get through school lately and to not go insane, wonderful people to carpool down to Dallas with, allowed Laura and I to be able to live 7 minutes drive from each other, I have a job that is flexible and works with my schedule, I have an incredible family that is supportive of me and prays for me daily, I… could keep going. I am blessed way beyond what I deserve. I have a savior that came and DIED for me. Sheesh.

I am hoping that my roots are growing down deep in Him during this time of plenty so that when famine/storms/valleys of the shadow of death come- my foundation will be firm and unshaken, my hope will be in Christ alone, and my trust will be in His all-sustaining Word. If it holds “all things together”, then I am confident it will hold little me and my life together as well

Goooooooooood times procrastinating!

 

11 Months! What?!

Really really. How did I get here? Right now I am sitting on Laura’s couch next to her as she is reading C.S. Lewis’s Out of the Silent Planet – she assured me she is studied up enough for her final tomorrow. She’ll prove it by making a 100. That’s the deal.

11 months ago yesterday, Laura agreed to go on what would be our first date- to Food for Thought- a local favorite here in Waco. Afterwards we went to the dam (pictured in the previous post). It was an incredible time I will never forget…

I am floored that eleven months have passed so quickly. I am equally astounded each day at how blessed I am to have such a brilliant, beautiful, wise, patient, challenging, best “special” friend, encourager, and conduit of God’s love in my life. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Can’t say it enough. 

Also, I could write a book about all the comings and goings and events of this past month…  It has been amazing. And I’m excited about what is next in July and August. 

So rich am I.

 

June (and some other randomized favorites)! 

Praise God, from whom all blessings flow;

Praise Him, all creatures here below;

Praise Him above, ye heav’nly host;

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

 

Turtles

It has been nearly an eternity since I last posted. Man. Oh well. No way I’m going to be able to catch up and fill in all that’s happened since the last time…    At least not in one post anyway. 

So, the one with Laura was taken several months back (notice the warm looking puffy coat) with a young lad of a turtle we endearingly named Yoda. More recently (notice I have a t-shirt on), in Colleyville we spotted a much larger turtle on the side of the road and stopped to make sure it didn’t need any help. While we didn’t name this one, I did extract a harmful leech(picture not included – don’t want to scare the younger audience) from the hind portion of its shell, and returned it to a safe spot at a nearby stream. Earlier this morning, I was riding my bike to Cameron Park, and nearly ran over what I think was yet another box turtle. This guy (or girl…i’m not sure) was in the process of making his way through the Vietnam memorial garden that is near the suspension bridges that people like to toss tortillas off of sometimes… My initial knee-jerk reaction was to pick it up and take it with me somehow ( i had my backpack on afterall), and bring it to a safe place in the park where we could read together and it wouldn’t accidentally wander into the road where it could very easily be crushed by the a passing motorist or expert cyclist like myself. After a second though, I decided I should let it continue on in its tour of the memorial and trust it to make wise traveling decisions.

Anyway. It has been a season of turtles and a plethora of other things, but this is all I want to write for now.

 

two worlds

My perception of the passage of time is something that I tend to notice and focus on quite frequently. Lately, the weeks seem to fly by so quickly. I feel like I just began nursing school a few months ago, yet I am weeks away from finishing my first YEAR of this journey. I still don’t know what is next exactly, but I am content to wait and trust and know that God is there, in my future, and will be there to shepherd me to the next season. 

Recently noticed that I enjoy the operating room a lot. Watching surgeries has been one of coolest things, hands down, that I have experienced. One downside to working there (i can assume) is that you don’t get to interact with patients as closely (well, when they are conscious anyway). Hmm. The coolest thing however: Over the past month I have seen new life enter into the world for the first time! I was floored by this. I can’t describe the way I felt when I listened to a babies heart and breathing sounds mere seconds out of the womb…I still don’t have words really to explain. I was second person to ever touch this new life. It was so vibrant and wild, yet helpless and in distress…Sometimes the poetry doesn’t come so easily. And that’s okay. 

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the people of God to be revealed. For creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.” Romans 8:18-22

A recurring thought I’ve had lately: Just the realization that inside the hospital, it really is a completely different world than the one I have been accustomed to. I can only project my own perceptions and thoughts upon the people outside at this point… But I know that before I came into  this season I am now in, if I drove by Dallas Presbyterian Hospital, I would have given the inside  little to no thought or reflection. Why is this so poignant to me right now? It’s hard to say exactly. But, in the past several months, I have witnessed for the first time- a level of pain, sorrow, despair, fear, sickness, helplessness; a decrepit, cancerous side of our world that I could have before, obliviously driven past- but now, have been forced to dip my cup into and take a big gulp. As I say this, I have a strong sense that I am only on the tip of an iceberg. It is sobering, eye-opening, painful, wonderful…

What is that verse… where darkness is, light much more abounds…? I believe this. But it is easy to feel overwhelmed by the pain one sees in a patients eyes, a lost insidious darkness behind a face, a hollow insincerity, a cold cynicism holding a scalpel and working a miracle… What can I do? It definitely takes some debriefing. I’m thankful to have a sincere and open heart to share these things with. 

 

 

februarythree

There is so much to potentially write about that I am having a hard time starting this…

Life. I saw a lot of new life this morning. I went to my first ob clinical day at Dallas Presbyterian Hospital and was able to see about 15 beautiful newborn babies. Got there at 6:30am. That was kinda rough. A few people have asked me lately where I want to end up (in nursing). As of now, I don’t really know. Babies are cool. I don’t think I could be a labor and deliver nurse though. Nicu is pretty amazing but very sad. That’s where all the pre-mature/high-risk babies go for special attention.

So I don’t know. It’s okay though. It will all work out. It always does. I really like the heart I have noticed. I think it might be cool to work on a cardiac floor someday. We’ll see. I want to graduate first. That will be cool.

January 31st was Laura and I’s 6 month celebration. We had a good time driving all over Dallas, seeing a movie and having dinner at a sweet restaurant. Dinner and a movie sounds kinda cliche, but we don’t do it often… and anyway, it’s fun! I don’t care if it’s a typical date thing to do.

So, after taking an evaluation of the past six months…I think she’s pretty cool. I think I’ll keep her. Actually she is pretty wonderful. And I am super lucky to know her, much less be called “her’s”- I hope she keeps me:)

Completely serious though, reflecting over the past six months have been beyond words incredible and I can’t wait to see what’s ahead. Sometimes it is a little hard to live an hour and half apart, but again, I am super lucky to be able to see her as much as I do. Yepyep yep. I am blessed. It’s true.

These are some friends ( and one really special friend )

What are we going to say after “Oh-Nine”? Will we just say “ten”? “Eleven”? I guess so. It just sounds weird. We’ll get used to it over a decade I’m sure. And then we’ll be in the twenties again! Think about that!

 

picshure post

(some of these are from over four years ago. i would post more recent ones, but i am away from my camera cord at the moment)

looking at these induces strange nostalgic feelings. i don’t know how i feel about them.

“The care of the earth is our most ancient and most worthy, and after all our most pleasing responsibility. To cherish what remains of it and to foster its renewal is our only hope.”

-Wendall Berry

(this quote was in a most special Christmas gift I received from Laura- a personalized book containing many wonderful pictures from the summer of ‘08 on the World Hunger Relief Farm- where we met)

 

1. I am in Nursing School at Texas Women’s University. I like it.

2. I have scoliosis and mild pectus excavatum currently. *look it up if you are curious*.

3. I wash windows for money right now.

4. I used to have pet hedgehog named Spike. He had a heart attack ( i think…) when i was giving him a bath one day. i would like to have another one someday, but a baby so that i can raise it to be nice and tame, otherwise you can never pick them up or get close to them without them turning into a ball of needles, which gets old really quick.

5. I like to cook and eat good (quality) food. It is good for the soul.

6. I like to try follow the rule “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, if it’s brown, flush it down.”- for water conservation. I am also a fan of Compost Toilets.

BRILLIANT

I really like the title to this album. It and the songs contained resonate within me – because I have experienced feeling “cut down” or having large parts of my life pruned – to then witness beautiful growth, creation, and new life spring up. It is such an incredible process to witness in nature (ex: new life,death,decomposition,new life, repeat) , but even more amazing to observe and hear tell of in the life and heart of a human being.

Almost CHRISTMAS time! hiii oh.

 

Bueller…?

I find the following thought provoking and convicting. And I like the dog in the picture with him at the end : )

I am thankful for Ben Stein and what he says here. If you haven’t seen his documentary: Expelled, check it out sometime- I find it enlightening as well.

http://www.expelledthemovie.com/

Not saying Ben Stein is perfect by posting what he says, but his words do resonate some truth. No one is perfect, and I am thankful because that is the beauty of this whole story that we are living in.

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS:

Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does
not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up,
bejeweled trees, Christmas trees.. I don’t feel threatened. I don’t feel
discriminated against. That’s what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn’t bother me a bit when people say, ‘Merry Christmas’ to me. I
don’t think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto.
In fact, I kind of like it It shows that we are all brothers and sisters
celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn’t bother me at all that there
is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in
Malibu . If people want a crche, it’s just as fine with me as is the
Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I d on’t like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don’t think
Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people
who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I
have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly
atheist country. I can’t find it in the Constitution and I don’t like it
being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we
should worship celebrities and we aren’t allowed to worship God as we
understand Him? I guess that’s a sign that I’m getting old, too. But
there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from
and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a
little different: This is not intended t o be a joke; it’s not funny, it’s
intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham’s daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her ‘How could God let something like this happen?’ (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, ‘I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we’ve been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?’

In light of recent events… terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I
think it started when Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn’t want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn’t spank our children when they
misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might
damage their self-esteem (Dr Spock’s son committed suicide). We said an
expert should know what he’s talking about. And we said OK.

Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they
don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill
strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out.
I think it has a great deal to do with ‘WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.’

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the
world’s going to hell Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but
question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on
your address list because you’re not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it… no
one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don’t sit
back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein